Which Is the Best Art?

When I was an undergraduate student at the University of Utah, I enrolled in an honors course with the title, "What is art?" I assume that my rationale for enrolling in the course was that it was open to honors students and that it fit into my schedule. Such was my undergraduate brain--and the brain of most undergraduates still today.

The professor was a philosopher, Dr. Charles Monson, who walked into class on the first day, put three pictures in front of the class, which looked something like these three paintings:

He then went around the class of about 12 students and asked each of us which painting we thought was best and why. I am still embarrassed to say that I knew not one smidgen about art, and that I , with the rest of the class, went with picture number one. It looked familiar to me, even if I had no idea who painted it, or in what period, or for what reason.

But when Professor Monson came to the last student, he chose the Picasso. I had not heard of Picasso. The fact that he was still alive is no excuse. I was stunned that this student would choose a painting so "silly" to my young mind. And in response to the professor's question, why he liked that painting, the student said that it was by Picasso, a painting of his model Dora Maar, and that it challenged the way we see. It did not give the viewer a historical  image or a realistic flower. It forced the viewer to stop and look harder.

At least that's the way I remember the student's answer.

I was almost as stupid by the time the class ended as I was when it began, but I have not forgotten Professor Monson's determination to wring an intelligent thought out of me. Thank you, Professor Monson.

Painting is Re-painting

Writing is re-writing, we tell our writing students, and, I have been learning over and over, that painting is re-painting.

A few days ago I posted a picture, which got a lot of "likes" and comments from you, dear friends. It was a woman, her body painted abstractly, with a white mask and clearly painted facial features.

Not everyone was drawn to it. My conversation with Louise went like this:
Louise: That mask doesn't work.
Tom: Why?
Louise: Because its style is completely different from the rest of the painting.
Tom: But it's a mask. It's supposed to look different.
Louise: It doesn't work. You still have work to do.

I got a similar reaction from Charles. "Well," he said, "you have two different styles working here."

And so here is the re-painted figure. Is it better than the first? Were Louise and Charles right? I leave it up to you, dear reader.

The Struggle for "Voice"

My mother would say my painting is "kinda differnt." She would pronounce it just the way it's spelled here--differnt or maybe diffurnt. I don't know what my father would have said. Maybe just grunted. Both of them might well wonder how their son got on a path to find a new "voice," as we say in writing. I don't know what the word for "voice" is in painting. Maybe "style"? Dunno.

Self-Portrait #2

Self Portrait.

When you do a self-portrait, you only have yourself to blame.

Ten Things People Over 70 Should Never Do

I was lying awake at 5 AM this morning, enjoying insomnia, thinking about being in my eighth decade and feeling crabby. So I wrote up this list. Remember, you read it here.

1.     Don’t listen to advice from people under 70. They don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.

2.     Avoid reading magazines on how to improve your sex life.

3.     Avoid eating vegetables. Life is too short to waste on vegetables. Otherwise eat anything you want.

4.     Avoid Diet Coke and other diet drinks. Regular Coke tastes better.

5.     Don’t stroll through cemeteries. You’ll trip on the headstones and break your head on other headstones.

6.     Don’t tell your grandchildren sweet stories. Tell ‘em the dirty, gritty ones. They’ll think you’re hip.

7.      Don’t hug young people for too long. They’ll get a whiff of you and think you’re already dead.

8.     Don’t go parasailing unless you’re over a mattress.

9.     Don’t be afraid to tell your doctor he/she is an idiot. It gets their attention.

10. Forget learning English. Learn the language of texting, like LOL, OMG, WTF. And don’t stop there:

ADBB: all done, bye bye

BDN: big damn number

DFIP: don’t fart in public

If you start babbling this stuff, family will think you’ve lost it let you go to bed.